I don't need an audience

As long as you're the one I'm performing for.
It's been awhile since we last spoke. It seems like you're better off without me.
I see that you're happier, you smile a lot more, no me to keep you off your feet.
I'm good with that, really. Of all the pain I rather feel, it's this.
Letting go so that you can now really be yourself. Happy.

Now, its my turn.
To find my true self and happiness. Sigh, where are you?
16 years and i still have not figured out who I am, what makes me happy or at least calm my nerves down.
Too bad I'm not a happy go lucky person. I always give a shit about every single thing.
Over thinking most of the it. Maybe that's why I all messed up now.
But hey, at least it's a beautiful mess, right? With memories lying all around.
I'm worried though, what if i can't find another person with that smile of yours. Only time will tell I guess.
But in the mean time, as long as you're happy. So am I. Heck, i bet you won't even read this anymore but..

Don't you stop smiling, promise?
Yours Truly.

Dying.

I know it's not me.
But I don't care. Seeing you sad really made my heart ache. I don't know what is the cause of it but i hope you heal from whatever you're going through soon. If it was me that caused your ache, I really am sorry. I know it's not me you're talking about when you posted on tumblr. It kills me i admit but if you're happy, then, sooner or later, i'll be happy for you too.

Just don't stay this way. Please?
Yours truly.

It's just me missing you.

Im always the One to Fuck it up . 
Im sorry that i constantly want to talk to you .
Im sorry when you take to long to reply; i get sad :( 
Im sorry if i say things that might piss you off . 
Im sorry if i put you through shit; You dont deserve it . 
Im sorry when my attitude shifts . 
Im sorry if i ever hurt you; that's the last thing i'd want to do . 
Im sorry if i come off as annoying . 
Im sorry if i think about you too much and to often . 
Im sorry when i become jealous, but baby whats mine, is mine . Im sorry if i come off as too clingy or attached at times, but thats just me missing you . You deserve the best; Thats why i try to give you my all . You mean everything to me and i just want to make you proud . I Love you, That will never change ♡

Midnight truly is beautiful. Like you.

I just hope, you know. That, you really are beautiful. In every single way. Stop saying that you're not. Heck, you're suppose to be saying that, not me. Maybe I was there for you as a reminder that you can reach greater things. I just hope you won't forget me. Time to time, sure I'll miss you and i hope you do too. But you keeping us apart really shows something. I just can't seem to pin it down in words. All I know is, you have already moved on and i'm happy you did. At least now I know what needs to be done by me.

I feel like, this moment I'm going through, really indulged me to many things. It thought me many as I have lost many. But its best I don't mention it now. Let's go back to when we first talked eh? It was two years I believe. It started out as strangers, then friends. We got close when we had our group chat with the others remember? Yeah, that was good times. And then i broke up with my first. Wasn't easy though. Just like ours. You came to my house on CNY. Was pretty shocked actually, and i'm still touched by it. I remember you started asking so many questions but it was fun. Heh. Then, i popped the question. You didn't expected it, didn't you? Hahaha. It's still clear to me. Owh, how could i forget, my battle with your sis on pick-up lines. Started with one then it became a war. Laughing all the way. Never had so much fun before.

Things we're going pretty well, i believe. When we first held hands, it was like magic. You even surprised me during Rally. Evil you, lying to me about not making it then pop in-front of my face. That was a good one. I admit. There's also this one time you went to Singapore and got me chocolates. Yumm. :) I still have a few left. Just to remind me of you. Then, i don't know what happened. But i won't go any further. By the way, i'm re-reading our old convo and it brought me to my knees. Especially, the way you call me 'dear'. Whether its through your voice, or your text. My heart will just skip a beat every time.

Enough of my blabbering. I think it's time for me to do what needed to be done long ago.
Thank you by the way.
I'll end all this, right here, right now.
Last you'll ever hear from me, i hope.
And I know you'll be reading this but i don't really care.
What am I to you anyways?
Yours truly.

P.S. I will always love you.